So being on a personal journey of never-ending personal improvement I found myself yet again learning something profound.
This time on taking control of our lives.
This is coming from an interview to Dr. Paul by Eban Pagan in the program called Deep Inner Game. I just filled my journal with notes and here I am emptying all this value and sharing it with you.
What is Life?
I think you can sum up your life by the accumulation of decisions you have made up until now. Some were good others not so much, or at least that’s what you think.
You see, the decisions you have made are the exact same thing that defines your life.
In life when you are confronted with a situation, you have the power to make a decision about it or ignore it (making no decision at all).
Making no decision at all leads you to psychological atrophy which takes you even deeper, falling into mental illness.
Making NO decision causes:
- further decline
On the other hand making a decision leads you to psychological growth.
Now, decisions can be either constructive or destructive.
That’s about it.
You either make a decision or you don’t.
When you make a decision you get two outcomes, positive or negative.
Either you make a destructive decision (having a negative outcome) or you make a constructive decision (having a positive outcome).
Of course this has to do with your perception of things, cause maybe a positive outcome for you might be a negative outcome for me and vice-versa.
But nevertheless you made a decision. And it made you grow.
I guess “If you’re not growing, you’re dying” makes total sense here.
Any decision you make, don’t matter the outcome, causes you to grow.
So how do you make decisions?
The present is when you are most alive, this is the only moment where you can use all of your five senses and it is here at this precise moment when you make your decisions.
So if decisions define you life, how do you take control of your life?
The Observing Ego
The Observing Ego is the only human skill that can allow psychological grow.
Without it you can’t grow.
Without it you can’t gain new skills.
Have you ever been talking to someone special trying for things to go well between you two, and then a few hours later you realize you did something wrong and go: “Damn I shouldn’t have said that to her (or him), I’ve should have said something else.”
Well you didn’t have Observing Ego at that moment.
What if you were fighting with your significant other without Observing Ego?
What happens when you don’t have Observing Ego?
- You end up with a job no one else wanted
- The partner no one else wanted
- The life no one else wanted
Observing Ego is a real time ability that allows you to monitor your own behavior even as you behave.
Dr. Paul describes it best by comparing it to when you watch a good movie.
When you watch a good movie, you become the character, you don’t worry about the future nor regret about the past at that precise moment. You become fully present. You are out in the audience looking at yourself.
By using Observing Ego you can step outside of yourself and observe the current situation (I actually imagine it like the Eye of Sauron staring down at me).
By stepping outside yourself and observing the current situation, you can ask yourself, “is this getting anywhere?” If no, then you make the decision right there to stop what you’re doing.
You just took control of your life and headed elsewhere on purpose.
So instead of letting the fight control you, learn how to step out with your Observing Ego and control your life.